It goes down the drain

I miss my friends so much! OMG .. I can't help but wanting to meet them everyday! Too bad I can't. Yea, having a mum who is protective of me has its good and bad. Or many because she do not trust what I do outside? 

This is suppose to be a rather sad part but this picture just cheers me up! xD 

To be honest, when I go outside I don't even know what to do or where to go! I would normally hang out with my friends when they make plans. Other than that I'm really clueless. 

That is why I took the initiative to take up a part time job as staying at home is seriously boring if you have NOTHING to do. Even staring at the computer screen is boring these days. 

On Wednesday night, these crazy friends of mine from ITE decided that they want to have a picnic at Sentosa the very next day as class was cancelled! They told me to tag along as they know I have nothing to do. Geniuses! xD I was literally rotting at home! 

I know that chances of me being able to go was a 50/50 chance. I took quite awhile to gather up as much courage I could. After an hour or two, I finally got up and went to ask my mum. 

Instant reject. I kept asking in a really sweet tone (I think), but came to no avail. I took my phone and earpiece and just went up to bed. I was filled with disappointment, rage, anger and sadness. I broke down on my bed. I couldn't hold it in. I just don't know how to convince my mum to let me have some freedom. 

Freedom to go out with my friends. Maybe to just sit down, drink some coffee and catch up for loss time. To just go out and walk around the reservoir for some air. To get a life I suppose. I was glad this bestie Fatihah cheered me up a little. Hais. 

So after a series of interviews and researching, I thought working at the IT Show 2014 for a local telco would be great as the salary was not that bad either! 

                    Nazri, everyone! :) 

Yup, he accompanied me to go for the interview after submitting enrollment documents to TP! We went to bugis after that to survey some stuffs we would like to buy before school starts. That's not all! Nazri told me there's a shortcut to Suntec from Bugis! I was like 'SERIOUS SHIT?!' (Being the clueless guy I am) We took a 10 minutes walk from Bugis Junction and reached Suntec without wen realizing it (me cause I don't know anything about ways to go there by foot). 

Then, we went to Marina Square through a link bridge and the first shop we entered was HMV! Looking through at all the KPOP albums cause we love KPOP! Hahaha!! We even saw some really 'legendary' English singers of all time. I listen to basically all types of songs and languages so I was in a real awe! 

We then walked around Marina Square looking at the different shops and all cause we were basically bored. After walking for about half an hour we headed to Raffles City, walked around and decided to take the MRT back home. 

I was glad Nazri followed me or it would just be me going to the interview and back home. Pure boredom. 

Oh yeah! I did get the job! I was suppose to turn up for training today at 12! I did not because my mum suddenly raged on me and did not allow me to go. It was an opportunity that really went down the drain. I wanted to just go and not care what she say! But I just can't seem to do so. My heart broke into a billion pieces. I almost wanted to cry in public but glad I did not. The opportunity literally rolled in the deep! (If you get what I'm referring to) 

Now I'm basically trying to hold on to myself and not do anything stupid. I hope I can. In Sha Allah. 

To all my friends, I miss you guys so much! 

You all will forever be in my heart! :( 

That 'I can't take it anymore' feeling.

Remember when you felt like 'I can't take it anymore' or maybe you're feeling like that right now.. 

Well, you're not alone. Everyone feels like that sometimes and everyone has those moments. I also feel like that sometimes and all I wanna do was just run away from everyone and lead my life alone.

I just felt like that last night. I feel like I want to just Restore my phone, delete everything, get out of the house and migrate to somewhere else. 

I broke down uncontrollably cause I know that that can never happen. All I can do is to just ignore those shits, 'burn' all those bad memories and just keep those Precious ones in my heart. 

Why should I be sad when I can be as happy as always? 

That is what I always say to myself. Even if I am feeling extremely sad and felt very 'suicidal' I would say to myself "Why are you being sad? It's useless crying cause it won't change anything." 

I would instantly lift myself up and forget all those shit I was crying about.

Sometimes, I would feel better. But sometimes I would just continue crying as if it was the last of it. 

Sometimes crying is a way to channel that sad memories away~

Yup. I would just continue crying cause sometimes it's better to cry it all away than keeping it all inside.

"You can push someone so hard before they break"

That is one of the reasons why people cry it all away. As bottling up your sad emotions in can cause your feelings to be much more worst than before. 

If you keep bottling those emotions up and if you can't hold it in anymore, the after effect would be even greater and can cause you to burst out to rage or anger. 

And those two feelings can cause someone to be very violent and may lead to the reason of someone's death. 

Life is never fair! 

I agree! 100%!! I'm sure many would agree with me cause of many different reasons. 

"God will never test you more than what you can afford to handle"

 

That is what many will tell me when I feel down and hopeless. That one simple sentence can just lift me up and try to fix myself.

I believe that He is testing me to see my endurance and to see how far I would put in effort to get what I want. When I reach a dead end, I would note to myself that the path I'm heading is not the path He wants me to go to. I need to learn to accept that. 

Which means I need to think back and reconsider my options and pick the next one that's best for me. 

(Reaching the dead end basically means that the thing I'm pursuing or putting effort in is just not meant for me.) 

You're not the only one with problems. 

No one is problem-free. At one point of time or another, a person will face a problem that is either manageable or not. 

Everyone will go through it and you're not alone. Just know that it will get better.

You have to accept the fact that there are others out there facing a much bigger problem than you. 

Me.

Being a teenager or young adult has really shaped me pretty much to who I am today or who I will be. It's not easy being someone going through different phases of life. 

Going through different phases of life requires me to be willing to accept my own flaws before perfecting my strengths. 

It's hard to even look myself in the mirror and see how much I've grown and realising how hard the problems I'm facing now just keep pulling me down. 

No one wants to be sad. I don't want to be sad. I want to always be happy and care-free. Who doesn't? 

But before we become what we want to achieve, we have to shape ourselves by facing the problems we have and solve it before those problems solve us. When we finally solve those problems, we must  learn of how much effort it took to solve it and keep reminding ourselves of those hardships so that in the future, if we face those same problems, we are ready to eliminate them as soon as possible so that it will never bother us ever again. 

Note to self: 

All it takes is just a simple pinch of those good/happy memories. 

The start of something new, ITE Life :)

Let's start off this post with something people always say about ITE.
Stereotypes of ITE?
''If you get into ITE, its better not going to school at all'' ,
''That school is for dumb people'' and the most infamous line ''It's The End, like literally the end''.
Well that's not what I view it as. I view ITE as just another step in life, college that students go to. Isn't that what it is all this while?

It all started with 'Oh my gosh orientation is super boring' said by me and Syukri who were walking together cause we know no one but ourselves. Then comes Melvin who is always getting sidetracked with something else other than listening to the Bridge Leader (BL) talking (shit). :P I can literally doze off while the BL were talking cause I don't even care of what's happening or going to happen.

The start of class meant the start of ''Hey, that girl looks cute'', ''OMG that guy is so cute and handsome!''.

My class! UJ1401H :')

Me? I just came to class hoping the class would be more exciting than secondary school. Sort of. Hahaha

This is Syukri! My first friend in ITE during orientation :)

Going to class wasn't actually a bad thing cause meeting new friends makes it all worthwhile. Meeting these awesome dudes just makes me feel sort of satisfied. I couldn't believe I would actually have 'guy' friends or a 'guy' clique to talk to or go to lunch together! As you can see in my previous post, most of my friends were girls cause of how it was so easy to interact with them. I literally have alot of girlfriends! LOL! So being able to make 'guy' friends was like something to be happy about xD And I can tell you that I feel much more in place with them!

My clique/teammates :')
(According to top picture) Me, Benjamin, Syukri and Fathullah :)

My Sayang! 

Hahaha the first picture above this, is a picture of my clique/teammates! And below it, is a picture of my sayang! Yes, my sayang! haha we are basically just quite close and we just call each other that. *smirk* *smirk* lol haha

Of course over time, you extend your range of friends to more people. Including the girls in the class! Haha and this girl is one great example of that! BESTIE!!! Hahaha Fatihah is like the queen of bitchiness and loudness (VERY LOUD I TELL YOU) but in her heart she is just one beautiful woman. We can relate a lot of things with each other and can make quite a havoc of jokes! haha Sepak nak?! Cabbage nak?! xD She is very understanding and knows me quite well after just a simple message of ''Hey, you're not coming to school ah?'' WHO KNEW SHE WAS GONNA BE THE CRAZIEST PERSON I'VE MET! xD Thank you for being a good listener and.... other stuffs hehe *Smirk* *Smirk*

The crazy Fatihah!

All good things that start has to end, right? I just can't believe it had to end so early. Just 2 weeks with them and I had to withdraw from ITE to prepare for Poly. Leaving was not something easy to go through cause I have made such great friends in class! Plus the teachers are not quite bad! But I can't regret the fact that live goes on and I should to.

Moving on was not such an easy thing to do. I get angry at myself sometimes for accepting that Polytechnic offer. But I can't just join the class back like nothing ever happen can I? With a heavy heart I left the school on 24th of January.

Life with my ITE friends did not end there cause we still keep in close contact and even have Skype sessions till late at night up till today! Also, my recent job at Tampines Mall was one crazy one too! These amazing people took the time to visit me at my workplace! We even had lunch together! :')

Me, Fatihah, Natasha and Jen! :)

Did I mention how crazy Natasha and Fatihah can be when they are together? Plus Jen and they can create quite a scene! A good one! They are just people full of contagious laughter and happiness! :)

Hi Natasha! I may not know much about you but take care of my Fatt okay? If he is annoying, just punch him *smirk* 

And Jen! Hahaha I can't believe I did not realise you were in the class all this while! >< Sorry! Hahaha and you can be such a crazy girl too! Stay like that you hungry woman! xD You are team #AlwaysHungry and I am team #ForeverKillingPeople hehe !

THESE AMAZING PEOPLE! <3

So who said ITE is ''Its The End'' again? Cause from what I see and experience its actually The Beginning. The Start of a new chapter in life. The growth of a new tree in my heart. 

Its just a pleasure getting to meet and be friends with these awesome people! Being able to have lunch with them is like a privilege! You guys will forever be in my heart wherever I or you guys go! Don't forget me okay? If I have free time I will one day crash the class or something yea? xD hahahahaha Love you guys la! mwah!

Secondary School Life and Beyond! ~

HAHAHAHA!

OMG I MISS SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFE SO MUCH!! 

I miss the facilities, the ground, the space and most importantly the people! I miss my sec four class the most! 

This class of Food and Nutrition (FnN) peeps are just one wonderful bunch! I just love everyone in it! From the makcik pakcik red table, the gossipers and the dramatic group that never formed lol to the crazy form teacher! *smirk*

Secondary school life had its ups and downs cause major shit happened in that school that seriously changed me. Events in each level I go to that made me realise who I actually am.

In sec 1, I was the loner in class and got bullied by two idiotic people. Well, being the "bullied" person I was so I just kept quiet about it and said nothing till the bullying went too far. It the end of our common test so I was packing up while these two idiotic and nonsense people played catching plus splashing water at each other. But then one of them headed towards me so I began running out of the class and came back in after minutes of running plus these idiotic people got on my nerves for tooooooo long. Being super angry, out of nowhere I took a chair and threw it at one of those two "kids". He bled like shit. I felt rather satisfied and scared. Luckily not much actions we're put against me. Hehehe~~

Sec 2, streaming the following year. I was still blur like some sotong about exams all. I DON'T EVEN STUDY A SINGLE SHIT. Everytime there's a test, I will always be the one to fail. Lol.

Sec 3, the class that changed my life. Being in a Food N Nutrition class, I thought it was gonna be just cooking and planning but THAT WAS A BIG MISTAKE! 

It's more than just cooking. We need to freaking know what nutrients are in a single nut to a freaking bowl of soup! Oh gosh! 

Sec 4, the last secondary school class I was in. (Picture on top is our informal class photo) mehehehe. 12 girls 4 boys. The best class I've been in since primary 6. The class that jokes around like shit. Make mistakes like there's no tomorrow and play as if there's exam tomorrow. xD A class that made me realise what friends really meant. Also groups that fill my life with happiness!

Waiting for the N Level results in the hall with these guys just makes me even more nervous lol! Everyone was like, oh gosh just give the result slip already! After about 15 minutes of shits, it was like the moment of truth! We all were like ''I think I'm gonna get 20,'' ''I think I'm gonna fail,'' ''I think I'm gonna die!''
One by one we got up according to our register number to the teacher's desk. (My register number was the last so I had to wait awhile) Pfft. Many smiling faces in front of me made me even more nervous! The girls started to group among themselves and compared their marks. Like Finally it was my turn. I slowly walk up to the teacher's desk expecting a low 19 or 20 points cause I know that's basically how I fair among the rest of the 'geniuses' in my class. Then the teachers told me something that almost gave me a heart attack.
Humanities Teacher: ''Oh good you got a 2 for Humanities''
Me: ''What?!''
Form Teacher: Congratulations Syabil, you got 11 points!
Me: ''WHAAAAAT?! SERIOUS?!''
I looked at my result slip and almost died. I could not believe I actually passed!
Group of girls: Eh how much you get?
Me: 11
Group of girls: You BITCH! hahaha!

Ok I shall proceed to the pictures! :)

The red table group! x) I just miss having recess with them!
(From Left) The makcik Siti, The Anime girl Efi, Me, The Cheeky Afiza and The Cute Nicholas! :)

Miss Emillia! My crazy form teacher! Also my supportive FnN teacher! :) 

The gossipers that I basically confide my feelings with! :'))) THESE BITCHASS! I miss you guys! :')
The Bitchy (In a good way) Nanita (We call her Nanits, Nanots or Nachos for some apparent reasons), Me and The laughing Josh (forever laughing like crazy) x)

Coming back to BV brings back a lot of memories that almost made me cry every single time I visit the school. :( coming back for my Malay O Level results is like the most embarrassing moment of my life! xP

Ok here it goes. So basically it was like 1st day of ITE life so I am in ITE uniform walking slowly back to BV. Hahaha. Everyone was like staring at me as though I'm an alien! The teachers were like "ok please go to the hall for the collection of certificates" (or something like that). After all those boring talk and boring nothing, it was time to announce those who was eligible for PFP (Poly Foundation Program). I was sitting with my sec 4 friends that went cheering my name when I approached them lol xD Cause every time there's a release of O Level Results, current Sec 4E and 5N will be in the hall to 'witness' that event.
Suddenly MY FREAKING NAME WAS CALLED OUT. ME?!? I was like shocked cause the names who were called out had to go up to the stage to take a 'letter' from the various polytechnics. So me, the only douche wearing ITE uniform walked down the aisle in between 2013's Sec 4E and 5N students awkwardly, smiling like some joker. Everyone was like "WHY THE HELL THIS GUY KNOWS HE'S GOING POLY BUT WENT TO ITE?! WHUUUT" I felt like it was 'like a boss' moment while I walk to and back to my seat. Hahaha! After that, I got my Malay result and was like.. FUCK IT.. This does nothing xD

After, I joined my FnN class to receive their O Level FnN question and discuss about it. The O Level question is like far more harder compared to N Level! I was in such a shock that I don't even know how to do even if I was actually in Sec 5! Good Luck guys for O Levels! I wish you all the best and hope you guys will get your desired grades to pursue your studies in a local college or overseas! Cheers! :')

Ok basically that sums up my secondary school life xD Plus I don't know what to talk about cause it just brings back toooooooo much memories x( 

NEXT POST: ITE LIFE~~~ :))

Introduction ~ Tech Life

Hi!

This is my first time writing on a blog even though it feels awkward. Well isn't that how first adventures felt like? Scary, awkward, uncertain. And at this point of time, I don't even know what to talk about so I would just do a short intro of myself and what I love. *smirk* Plus I remembered that I wanted to start a blog 2 years ago but something kept me from doing so. But recently this new bestie of mine was talking about her blog so I went to check it out that made me realize what I wanted to do 2 years ago. So here I am! xD

To those who know me, i'm pretty sure they know how crazy and annoying I can be. Plus a couple of dirty thinking do make me laugh on my own sometimes. That's how crazy I can be. I also have an annoying female-like voice. Yes, i'm a guy if you have not notice...yet.


Back to the main topic.....


I LOVE TECHNOLOGY.. To be specific, MOBILE DEVICES, TABLETS AND ALL THOSE SHIT.
Those brands, crazy quad or octa-core processors, micro-chip sets, spectacular camera, viewing angles, nice retina or 1080p triluminos screen and handsome looking devices can literally make me go crazy over such devices. Not to mention the start of the 64bit computer era that is being put in a device! Don't forget the rumor mill about an upcoming device that just makes me drool all over. Someone can just ask me what's the device a person is holding and I can give the right answer just by looking at its outer shell, literally! xD

The newest device that caught my eyes!
The Xperia Z1 Compact in Lime Green!

The New iPhone 5S in Gold is such a looker!
Plus the new 64 bit architecture makes the phone even more worth it!