Well, you're not alone. Everyone feels like that sometimes and everyone has those moments. I also feel like that sometimes and all I wanna do was just run away from everyone and lead my life alone.
I just felt like that last night. I feel like I want to just Restore my phone, delete everything, get out of the house and migrate to somewhere else.
I broke down uncontrollably cause I know that that can never happen. All I can do is to just ignore those shits, 'burn' all those bad memories and just keep those Precious ones in my heart.
Why should I be sad when I can be as happy as always?
That is what I always say to myself. Even if I am feeling extremely sad and felt very 'suicidal' I would say to myself "Why are you being sad? It's useless crying cause it won't change anything."
I would instantly lift myself up and forget all those shit I was crying about.
Sometimes, I would feel better. But sometimes I would just continue crying as if it was the last of it.
Sometimes crying is a way to channel that sad memories away~
Yup. I would just continue crying cause sometimes it's better to cry it all away than keeping it all inside.
"You can push someone so hard before they break"
That is one of the reasons why people cry it all away. As bottling up your sad emotions in can cause your feelings to be much more worst than before.
If you keep bottling those emotions up and if you can't hold it in anymore, the after effect would be even greater and can cause you to burst out to rage or anger.
And those two feelings can cause someone to be very violent and may lead to the reason of someone's death.
Life is never fair!
I agree! 100%!! I'm sure many would agree with me cause of many different reasons.
"God will never test you more than what you can afford to handle"
That is what many will tell me when I feel down and hopeless. That one simple sentence can just lift me up and try to fix myself.
I believe that He is testing me to see my endurance and to see how far I would put in effort to get what I want. When I reach a dead end, I would note to myself that the path I'm heading is not the path He wants me to go to. I need to learn to accept that.
Which means I need to think back and reconsider my options and pick the next one that's best for me.
(Reaching the dead end basically means that the thing I'm pursuing or putting effort in is just not meant for me.)
You're not the only one with problems.
No one is problem-free. At one point of time or another, a person will face a problem that is either manageable or not.
Everyone will go through it and you're not alone. Just know that it will get better.
You have to accept the fact that there are others out there facing a much bigger problem than you.
Me.
Being a teenager or young adult has really shaped me pretty much to who I am today or who I will be. It's not easy being someone going through different phases of life.
Going through different phases of life requires me to be willing to accept my own flaws before perfecting my strengths.
It's hard to even look myself in the mirror and see how much I've grown and realising how hard the problems I'm facing now just keep pulling me down.
No one wants to be sad. I don't want to be sad. I want to always be happy and care-free. Who doesn't?
But before we become what we want to achieve, we have to shape ourselves by facing the problems we have and solve it before those problems solve us. When we finally solve those problems, we must learn of how much effort it took to solve it and keep reminding ourselves of those hardships so that in the future, if we face those same problems, we are ready to eliminate them as soon as possible so that it will never bother us ever again.
Note to self:
All it takes is just a simple pinch of those good/happy memories.
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